Godly Yellow Lemonade, Loads of Flotsam and Horribly Bad Maths

June 22nd, 2015 by Diana Coman

(The Barely Legible and Slightly Bloody Diary of Foxy Foxster on Eulora - Days 3, 4 and 5 when only horrible things happened. Day 1 and Day 2 were pure bliss(ters) by comparison.)

Day 3 - When Gods Take a Piss, You’ll Make Very Yellow Lemonade Out of Everything

Just when I thought I was getting the hang of cooking disgusting dishes, spinning threads and smashing rocks, a mighty gust of gods’ disgust (and possibly yellow piss, too) blew all over Eulora. As a result, the disgusting became the unmentionable and all quality was disgusted out of all items made by eulorian hands. So much for training, so much for learning, so much for going to sleep with a certain fragile peace of mind that insists on lying to you about the world being there just the same when you wake up. Well, it might be or it might not be - who knows what god lacks that night both basic indoor plumbing and the very humble potty of his ancestors.

I am still undecided on whether to call this event the Big Drop or the Big Piss. It certainly did NOT come with a big bang, so that’s totally out of the question. Perhaps the Big Splash.

Day 4 - Flotsam Is Your Friend

Today I made friends with a whole load of Flotsam. No, I’m not going insane and I did not hug the damned thing: I just dug it up and carried it to the merchant, as it sold for very good money, especially as it wasn’t a long way to carry - just dig behind the rocky area where the merchant lives and there you are, lots and lots of flotsam claims. Click, click, click and there you are with a beautiful Carpal Tunnel Syndrome stack of flotsam ready to sell. Convenience, money and a short trip to get both - what more can you want from a friend, especially on a land such as Eulora?

Day 5 -  I Have an Interest in You - Compound Interest That Is

Do you know that lovely tall lady oh, so nice and knowledgeable? That lady standing a bit aside from the merchant and giving you the kind looks as if to soothe your nerves that got so tense from the merchant’s nasty and oily ways. Yes, yes, that one - the Heina girl, who is a trainer through the goodness of her heart and the knowledge of her soul, the one and only trainer Eulora has seen so far, the one and only human being to really look not only at you, but deep inside you, taking an interest as it were in your very you and your development.

Well, it turns out she took an interest all right: a compound interest. All this time she was scamming poor newcomers charging them 10 times (or more)1 the fee for teaching them a measly level up on exploring, tinkering or building. She's been exposed now and she quickly turned around with a brand new offer of training services at decent - almost tiny -  prices. Who knows for how long that'll last?

So beware of Bad Maths. And of people who take an interest in you - it might be a higher interest than you know…

  1. Approximately 400 times in fact, as later revealed by those who really, truly, simply, know. 

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3 Responses to “Godly Yellow Lemonade, Loads of Flotsam and Horribly Bad Maths”

  1. […] (These are Days 6, 7 and 8 from The Barely Legible and Slightly Bloody Diary of Foxy Foxster on Eulora – you can find previous days with lemonade, flotsam and horribly bad Maths.) […]

  2. […] its early days of broken Maths and painful cooking, Eulora has certainly grown up in leaps and bounds – or rather limps and […]

  3. [...] http://ossasepia.com/2015/06/22/godly-yellow-lemonade-loads-of-flotsam-and-horribly-bad-maths/ << Ossa Sepia Eulora -- Godly Yellow Lemonade, Loads of Flotsam and Horribly Bad Maths [...]

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